Bangladeshi Birthday Bash

Currently listening to the whiny and sad sound of the Call to prayer. It's an eerie sound--this Call to prayer. Five times a day, over loudspeakers from different Mosques, I hear this Call to prayer, watch men go into Mosques, and women cover their heads in respect for Allah. It's been interesting to learn about the ins and outs Muslim culture, nothing like going straight to the source, eh?

Muslims, Hindus and Christians all have their ways of speaking to eachother..."Namushcar" is a hindu or maybe a christian greeting and "alasalamhalikum" is a Muslim greeting. (still working on that one) The government recognizes the different religions and punishes people according to what their religious customs say is the correct punishment for the crime. A pseudo separation of Church and State?

The family I live with is Muslim, so I am learning Muslim versions of words and my Bangla teacher is Christian so I am also learning Christian ways of talking. I am thankful to be living with a Muslim family for a few reasons: 1. they are super nice, caring and kind and have a really cute kid who jumps on my bed. 2. I can learn cultural things in a safe environment. (for instance when I cross my legs, my foot shouldn't point at anyone b/c that is a huge insult, given that the feet are the grossest part of the body) (and I never use my left hand to touch things, or to eat with b/c that's the hand you do your buisness with in the bathroom) 3. It makes learning the language so much easier--the wife speaks english, but not the mother in law, the son or the husband....

Last night Reba and I got invited to a 10 year old's birthday party. It was Cackon's (the wife) collegue's daughter. When you are Badeshi, you get invited via the grapevine to all sorts of functions. Everyone is so curious about me, why I've come, where I live, if I speak Bangla etc etc. We walk in and there are all these beautiful Bangladeshi women wearing sari's,(saris are for special occasions) the air was thick with perfume, Bangla music blaring, kids running around, balloons hanging from the ceiling. The women are excited to meet us and offer their seats to us. (I am not used to being catered to soooooo much!) We sit down, Reba speaks in Bangla to the women, and I smile and awkwardly nod, but totally content just to be there. "Life is funny" I kept thinking...I am at a Bangladeshi Birthday party, mingling with the upper class of women, eating rice with my hands, and even tasting my first bite of GOAT. I am wearing my orange salwar kameeze with cool mirrors and embroidered flowers, chatting with the woman next to me about her Ph. D. program. 3 weeks ago, I was walking around Reeds Lake, drinking oberon with Alaina on the sunporch! life is so funny.

Have I expounded on women here yet?
A few Things I am learning about women and women's rights:
... women are expected to get married as early as 12 (it depends on your class how young you get married) and mostly through arranged marriages
.."Love Marriages" are rare
.. women are exepected to be VERY modest. My "orna" is a long scarf that I wear to cover my breasts. and if I am not wearing my orna and a man looks at my chest lustfully, then it is my fault for not covering them up.
.. Men never help in the kitchen/serve food--unless they are the exception
...women wear burkahs here if their husbands make them.
*when I get a little more acclimatized I am going to wear one for a day to see how it feels
...women are not welcome in Mosques
...women never have friends of the opposite sex

hmmm. yeah. this is rubbing me the wrong way. It is hard to be sensitive to the culture when I have such strong reactions to these rules. The good thing for me is that I am Badeshi so the expectations on me are much different.

Life here is starting to be routine, and the charm of the differentness is wearing off a bit. Now, I want to be able to order my own food and get to my tutor's with out any help. haha. one step at a time.

So much more to say, but that's for later. Now I must attempt to hail a rickshaw and not get ripped off, make flashcards before my Bangla lessons, and find some food from the market, b/c I forgot to eat lunch.

(have I mentioned the CRAZY amount of STARING??) yeah. lots of staring happening here. I am beginning to get as curious as they are and stare back. ahhaha

PEACE.